Poetry In (e)Motion

Well, party season has begun in Akrotiri, and between now and Christmas our wallets and livers are no doubt going to be a subject to a battering,  Facebook will be awash with embarrassing images and a frenzy of  frantic ‘un-tagging’ will occur on many a morning after.

October certainly came in with a bang headed by a number of parties, soirees and lunches. Earlier this month saw the traditional Sergeants and Officers Messes Exchange Ladies Lunch,  a pink-themed event in aid of Breast Cancer Awareness. The lunches are an opportunity for the wives and partners of military personnel to gather under the guise of a formal meal , a veneer which usually shatters after the third glass of ‘Pink Fizz’. It is here that many have an opportunity to witness, first-hand, the power and volume of the cackling pack-animal that is the military wife finally let loose after days, maybe weeks,  of running a household within a military environment. It really is a sight to behold and very much an enjoyable event. Each lunch has a theme, this year being pink, although there have been a variety of ideas, including the unleashing of a live Elvis tribute act amongst the hoards of Mateus-fuelled females. The man deserved a medal, trust me.

This year it was a little more sedate, and tinged with a teary moment or two. Traditionally, the lunches are used to welcome new arrivals to the base and, more poignantly, bid a sad farewell to those who are leaving. Amongst those was a lady known and loved by all, the Station Commander’s wife Tina Bessell who is due to depart mid November. Tina has become very well known amongst all ranks here due to her down to earth nature, her inclusivity of all and her willingness to become involved in all aspects of base life. As well as raising her two young children and executing duties befitting to her husband’s role she has also D-J’d for BFBS, sat as president on SSAFA and Akrotiri Ladies committees and been proactive in a number of school activities on base. As a guest to the lunch, Tina had brought along Maggie May , a published poet who read some hilarious verses from her aspect as a military wife. Little did Tina know, however, that there was more poetry on the menu. Over the preceding few weeks, several aspiring bards had contributed their talents towards a poem which detailed Tina’s contributions over the past two years and expressed everyone’s appreciation for it. If I may, the poem is detailed below:

Tradition dictates in some old trains of thought

That the wife of “the boss” is a staid kind of sort

Swathed in her twin-sets and pearls she resigns

To a life of dull dinners, of cheeses and wines

She should never be seen in a t-shirt and sweats

On a trailer bike loaded with children and pets

Or knee deep in soap suds whilst mounting a slide

Dressed in a sumo-suit, baking inside

But rules are for breaking and we wouldn’t dare

To deny that you break them with courage and flair

And for that you deserve your own private arena

While we tell you reasons we love you, dear Tina

Tina Bee, you rocked the airwaves like a pro

Starting from nothing to having your own show

The whole of Akrotiri will miss you more than they can say

And on a personal note BFBS wishes you could stay

One of Tina’s many hats is as SSAFA Chair

And to help celebrate 125 years she came up with a dare

That in her spare time she would produce a cookbook

‘Simply Cyprus’ – which if you haven’t already seen is definitely worth a look!

In addition to this, barely a week goes by

When Tina isn’t busy with a fundraising idea

Whether it’s baking cakes or on a treadmill outside Ermes

Or hosting ‘Jazz on the Lawn’ with pimms and fresh strawberries

You lead by example and are always there to support

Which is why you so richly deserved your recent award

SSAFA and the committee will miss you immensely

But we will strive to continue and build on your legacy!

The folks at St Pauls have seen many a strange sight,

but nothing quite matches Tina B in full flight.

With Maya in one hand and a freshly baked cake under each arm

she sprints to the altar to rescue Woody from self-harm.

JB is the consummate professional

exuding leadership with passion and flair

but even Tina’s great powers of persuasion

have difficulty controlling his hair!

At school we have known you, As mother of Maya,

We are sure, just like Mum, she will be such a flyer,

You have helped us ‘Get Snug’ and also ‘Chillax,

And we hope your next move you’ll enjoy to the max.

When you led Aki Ladies, we all followed madly

While you pitched in and pitched up and did it all gladly

You’ve dipped us in chocolate, gymkhana’d and trotted

And dug in the sand where the treasure was plotted

You’ve made us eat crab, not just meat but the body

In Little Plates restaurant, deep fried by dear Roddy

Not to mention the times you have strutted your stuff

On the catwalks of messes, have you not had enough?

And so there we have it, your Cyprus-based life

You’ve been more than a Mum and much more than a Wife

Your deeds have touched many, impressions are left

That the folks here who know you  will soon be bereft

The good you have done has been with such finesse

And many a time in some cool fancy dress!

The Big Shoes you leave will require some tough filling

Let’s hope your successor is able and willing

Dear Tina, we thank you for all of your care

Your time given freely, your energy spare

So we all raise a glass, maybe sob in a tissue

It’s doubtless that Aki is going to miss you.

Not a bad effort, dontcha think? It was followed by a tear-jerking speech by a floored and highly emotional ‘Mrs Staish’ and a great deal of glass-clinking.

And then, it descended into the traditional levels of debauchery. But that’s another story, and not one for these pages......needless to say, there is a big, pink teddy bear who is probably still deeply traumatised.......